I disagree!

Thanks to Jesse for this...

What American accent do you have? Your Result: Boston   You definitely have a Boston accent, even if you think you don't. Of course, that doesn't mean you are from the Boston area, you may also be from New Hampshire or Maine.
The West
The Midland
North Central
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The Inland North
The South
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Whats work??

Here I am, nearing the end of my second day at my new job. Its pretty crazy so far...and very overwhelming! I hate being new, and even more so, I hate not knowing what I'm doing. I think the best feeling in the world is feeling comfortable in a job, but it takes sooo long to get there.

And yes, leave it to me to get on blogger on my second day....jeez...I am not sure how far I am willing to test the limits of internet usage here, but the lady I work for went home for the day so I don't have much else to do. I DO know that facebook is blocked which is not good. Not good at all.

I can't wait to move this weekend....primarily because we will finally have our own space again, and a HUGE walk in closet (SO excited!). But also because my horrendous commute will be cut almost in half!

I am proud of myself for not feeling too lonely yet. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I usually have Jay (and Trot) around...and when they aren't, my dad, or Greg or someone is there. It may be a whole different dynamic when I find myself alone in our new apartment, who knows. I can't believe I can see the light at the end of the tunnel with this move...after we move into our apartment, change our address yet again, register our new-to-us car, and then get TN drivers licenses, we should be official TN residents! Scary...

It hit me.

I knew the fact that I moved would hit me when I got home from Janelle's wedding...but wasn't prepared for the fact that it would hit me before I was even on the plane!

Being a bridesmaid is crazy. Because of this, I had all kinds of things in my purse that I didn't even think about removing due to the fact that we had to get up at 4am for our flight the next day. So as we were going through security, I got the head nod that they needed to check out my purse. He started pulling out all kinds of stuff I wasn't allowed to take on the plane...and as he pulled out 3 packs of sparklers and matches (Janelle and Bryan's favors...) my face turned red with embarrassment and as I tried to apologize and explain that I had been to a wedding, he started removing other things I wasn't supposed to have. You know, dangerous things like tide-to-go, nailpolish, and lipgloss. After he was done removing these entirely rediculous things for a girl to have in her purse and lecturing me as he was throwing them away, he put the sparklers and matches BACK in my purse, and told me to have a nice day.

WHAT?!?

Apparently matches and sparklers are A-OK to bring on a plane, but GOD FORBID if I have lipgloss and tide-to-go!!

Who are these people??

Anyways...back to the point of the story. As Jay and I were walking away from security, before he had even put on his shoes, I started to bawl uncontrollably. Baffled, he asked me what was wrong, and through sobs, I explained that I had paid a lot of money for that lipgloss when I got my makeup done on our wedding day, and I didn't even know what the color was so that I could get more. Poor Jay, not realizing that sometimes all girls need to set them off crying about something big is something very, very small, tried to calm me down, but I continued crying through the airport, as we were handing our tickets, through the airplane, and as I sat in my seat waiting for the plane to take off. It was not until then that I was able to explain to Jay that it had finally hit me that we were going HOME- not to Massachusetts, but to Nashville. And that all my friends, the ones who I felt like I was simply on a vacation from, would be in Massachusetts, very far away from where I would be. Something I have certainly known for a while...but I guess it takes your emotions a while to catch up with reality...

So, thats the story of how it hit me.

Oh, and I have a new job and a new apartment. More on those later :)

I'm still in my pajamas

...and its 4pm. WOW! Kim left today and I was not happy about that. This past week was just like old times...us being single staying with our parents and hanging out every second we have free. It was nice! But now she's in Memphrica and I don't know when I will see her next! But at least I know if I ever want to, its only a 3 hour drive instead of a plane ticket! As sad as I am though, I am really happy for her and Zack...I know they are recognizing God opening doors for them and I can't really debate with that. I think they will be really happy at their new church, I know Zack will be very happy in his new job, their house is SWEET, and now all we need is for Kim to get into med school next year!

Besides that, I'm SICK of being in limbo. I am trying sooo hard to be patient and wait on God, but its soo hard for me, being such a planner. I want us to find permanent jobs and a place to live RIGHT NOW. Living with my dad isn't terrible, but it isn't good either! We are dying to be on our own again after having a house all to ourselves for 8 months. We will also be in PA for the week, because JANELLE AND BRYAN ARE GETTING MARRIED on Saturday!! I am so excited to see friends and celebrate this occasion we've all been waiting for. I am really looking forward to both Jay and I being in the wedding party...something we've never experienced before! It should be fun.

I'm sure when we get back from PA this will seem real and I will finally get sad about leaving all my friends. Hopefully by then, the job situation will be a little more solid and we can start looking for apartments. All in God's time....just gotta keep telling myself that!

Southern twangs and sweet tea

Well, here I am. In Nashville. And no, it doesn't feel real yet. I still feel like I'm on some kind of vacation, and I probably will until I get a job and a place to live.

Living with my dad has been.......okay. I am certainly ready to move out when the time comes, but it hasn't been terrible. Its just weird to be used to living alone and then...BAM! You live with 3 others. I'm sure thats the way my dad and Val feel too, so I have some sympathy. But I'm ready to find jobs, a place to live, and settle down.

So basically, my life has been filled with sleeping in and staying up late, which is gonna kill me when I finally do get a job. I hate that I'm such a night owl!

I promise my next update will be a lot more interesting. Lots of things swirling around in my mind right now, but they're not ready to be put on paper quite yet.

Stress

I knew packing was hard and stressful, but I didn't realize how much! And its magnified 10x since Jay isn't here...I didn't start packing until he left on Sunday, and now I'm completely overwhelmed. I've packed sooo much, but there is still so much more to go, and it barely even looks like I made a dent. I can't wait until I can actually see results! It literally took me 2 days to pack the kitchen...there are sooo many things, especially breakables, in the kitchen that it took forever! Its also difficult to try to figure out what we're going to need for the couple of months we are living with my dad and what we can keep in storage until we find a place of our own.

If packing itself wasn't stressful enough, there's the truck issue....we got a really good deal on a truck company that drives it down for you AND pays for gas...but unfortunetly that means we have to take the bad with the good. The price we were quoted was for 10 feet of space on the truck, and every extra foot is $27. So I know we're going to be paying a lot extra, but at least we have the option of using more truck space. The big stress though, is that usually they would drop off the truck to you one day, and pick it up when you're ready, but apparently in Boston there's a special "rule" that the driver has to be with the truck at all times. Because of this, they only give you a free HOUR to pack the truck, and every additional 15 minutes is $34!! And obviously since we booked the truck for a thursday (it was cheapest...), most of our friends will be at work. And I can't find out what time the truck comes until Monday at the earliest. I am hoping I can get them to come as late as possible so that we can move everything outside first before the truck gets here, and then it wont take as long to load the truck when its time.

I am also lacking in the supplies department...I have been warned by 3 different people now that we need packing blankets (NOT provided by the truck company) and a dolly to move the piano. Researching where the heck to rent/buy these things is really not what I want to be doing right now when I'm already stressed enough about packing.

And then there's all our friends who keep asking us when we can hang out, even just for dinner, and at this point our schedules are so booked with saying goodbye to people that we hardly even have time to pack! We want to see our friends sooo bad and hang out with them as much as possible before we leave, but we're already booked solid, and there's still friends who we didn't even plan to see before we go. Its really sad and again....stressful.

Just one and a half more weeks of this craziness....

Sensitivity

One of the things I hate most about myself is how hypersensitive I am. Sometimes something someone says to me that rubs me the wrong way will bother me for weeks, months, or even years. Even more so, if I ever feel that something I did offended someone in any way, it eats away at me for the longest time. The fact that I'm completely non-confrontational doesn't help either...because I tend to let things roll off my back that really hurt me, and then I internalize it all, or lash out at someone who doesn't deserve it. I just HATE how something sooo small, that usually no one else cares about or notices, can ruin my whole day. I wish I could actually live the way I talk... "you shouldn't care what people think about you" or "I'm sure they didnt mean it that way" or "just forget about it, its not a big deal." But I physically can't do it. I just end up feeling like a doormat most of the time, and I hate it. I constantly worry 24/7 that someone is mad at me, or that someone doesn't think I'm a good friend, at the same time internalizing bitterness and frustration for people.

Sure, sometimes it is a good thing to be sensitive, primarily because it makes me hypersensitive to others. I absolutely go out of my way to make people feel loved, probably because sometimes I don't feel loved myself. I work my tail off to help my friends with wedding things, and of course part of that is because I enjoy it and love weddings, but its mostly because I love my friends and I want them to know it. But at the same time, during my wedding, I felt guilty and like a huge pain to all my friends when asking for help with the littlest things, even though I know its my own reality and not true reality. Being caring and sensitive toward others is a good thing, especially when I am going into a career someday that will really use those skills, but it sucks when it makes me feel unloved and unappreciated, for no reason at all.

I just wish it was a switch in me somehow- that I could turn on and off. Its exhausting....and I wish I could change, but I've been like this ever since I was little. I guess I just have to figure out how to deal with it constructively, instead of letting it eat away at me. I just wish it wasn't so difficult.