Growing up in a family with a homosexual family member, it has always been a slightly touchy subject for me, and I was always a little scared to look into it or talk about it. When I got to college and was instructed to write a 10 page research paper on a topic, it was easy to choose, and I learned a lot through my paper and throughout the rest of college with my biology major, psychology minor and religion classes.
Bottom line: I am so ashamed of the way the Church (used loosely here) treats homosexuals. I've always been a "bleeding heart", and perhaps this is just another one of those times where I sit and think about the person and how they feel inside rather than what they do or say on the outside. I don't think the issue within the church right now is whether homosexuality is right or wrong (that can be a whole other topic for another day...), but rather how we can love homosexuals with CHRIST'S love, and help them feel comfortable in a body of believers and get to a place where they have a personal, deep relationship with God, allowing Him to speak to their hearts in a way no human can.
For some reason, homosexuality seems to be the "ultimate" sin in the Church....even though it is clearly also taught that all sins are equal. If a homosexual lifestyle is considered a sin (which like I said, is a whole different topic here...), then why is it given a special, SEPARATE place in the hearts of those who condemn it?
When you are watching TV....in which situation are you more apt to feel saddened by the amount of sin you are watching across the screen? Would it be while watching 24, where at least 100 people are mercilessly murdered each episode, or watching a show that portrays a homosexual relationship or encounter? I, myself, am guilty for watching shows like 24 (just the first example that came to my head...a show I completely love by the way!) and being completely jaded and unaffected by the amount of death, even to the point of getting fired up and excited because the "bad guys" are getting killed! On the other hand, people are shocked and saddened when there is a homosexual scene or theme to a show. What is wrong with this picture?? Honestly, either be jaded by both shows (which I dont recommend...haha) or think about it and realize that one act is not above or below another in God's eyes.
In another example, as Dave stated in his blog...why is it okay to gloss over parts of scripture that talk about loving our neighbor and not using violence toward others, but hold firm to the parts that talk about the definition of marriage? This doesn't make sense to me! We are not in a position to pick and choose parts of the Bible to hold fast to and avert our eyes at others. Just because "everybody's doing it" and the fact that it seems to be a social norm and accepted practice doesn't make it right.
I think one reason for the fact that homosexuality is put on a different level is because it is usually a lifestyle-and in some people's eyes, a "decision" that one makes day after day. It is also a public affair, when the person decides to "come out", thus displaying it to the world whether they want to or not, rather than keeping something like an adulterous relationship or drug dependency under wraps for years so that no one will know about it. However, I think that people need to separate themselves from the black and white view of right and wrong, and use the brains that God has blessed them with, the hearts that He has provided as a channel directly to Him, and the fellowship of so many other people living the same struggles we do every day.
I did find in my research a physiological and genetic component to homosexuality. This means that it may not necessarily be the "choice" that some people think it is. No, there is no "gay gene", but there is certainly an underlying genetic predisposition to sexual issues in general, which may be played out as a pornography addiction, sexual addiction or dysfunction, or homosexuality. Just as there is a genetic component to predispose someone to be addicted to alcohol. However, in the alcohol situation, if a person doesn't touch alcohol for their entire lives, the genetic predisposition will probably not affect them. In a person with predisposition to sexual issues, it is something that will affect them day after day of their entire lives. Especially if they search for and find love-something everyone strives for.
Some churches tend to be "choosy" as to who they will open their arms to in welcome and acceptance. Do you think the church is more likely to open its doors to a person who has a problem with lying, stealing, or substance abuse...... or a homosexual? The answer to that question in most cases saddens me. No matter what your opinions are on right and wrong, or how much you disagree with someone else, we are still called to LOVE EVERYBODY. And what a horrible way to love somebody to deny them the experience of having a loving church home where they can feel accepted enough to be free and honest with God!!!
It is SO easy to point fingers at others. When its not you and your thoughts and feelings, the answers and solutions seem simple. You will tell the alcoholic "just stop drinking!" or the liar "just stop lying to people!" or the adulterer "just stop cheating on your husband!" or the homosexual "just stop having romantic feelings for members of the same sex!" However, if you have ever been in one of those situations, it is not that simple. Emotions, feelings, desires and predispositions are STRONG and are even harder to overcome than physical obstacles. And because levels of these things differ for everyone, it is impossible to know how somebody feels inside or how hard or impossible it feels for them to stop doing what they are doing. Homosexuality is not something that someone can "snap out of", and it saddens me that a lot of fundamentalists tend to see it this way. And telling a homosexual to just stop doing what feels right to them is incredibly offensive...not to mention that it will make them want to tune out the rest of what you say.
I am a huge believer in Maslow's heirarchy of needs...I feel that it applies to so many situations in this world. If you havent had psych in a few years, I'll give you this diagram below that describes what I'm talking about. The theory basically says that you MUST meet people where they're at- once people have one layer of needs met, they will be searching for and wanting the next level. An illustration of this point would be the fact that a homeless person, who has no food, shelter or safety, is not going to be receptive to a message about self-actualization or self-esteem, because they can't even think that far ahead until their basic needs are met. This works for just about every situation. This is why missionaries must meet the basic needs of the people they are ministering to- before they can even open their mouths about Jesus and God's word.
Notice that "love and belonging" is the 3rd need-right after physiological and security needs. This is HUGE. And it also means that until people feel loved and that they belong, they are not going to be open to the higher levels of soul-searching and self discovery. That being said, the church needs to EMBRACE sinners, not turn them away. Before we can even get into a discussion of right and wrong, we need to first LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! Once a person has established trust, belonging and love through a body of believers, they will be more receptive and open to whatever opinions you may have about their choices or lifestyle. Think abot it....would you rather a friend tell you that you have a drinking problem, or a stranger?Honestly, until the Church can get this part right, I don't even want to open the doors for discussion on right and wrong. Once we can find it in our hearts to love and accept PEOPLE, we can engage in deeper debates about biblical marriage and homosexuality in the context of love and trust. This doesn't only apply to homosexuality, either...it can be true across the board. It just seems that for some reason, homosexuals are getting pushed from the church because of people expressing their opinion before expressing love. And that REALLY saddens me. Because I know for a fact that Jesus loves everyone no matter who they are, and I want to show everybody that before I start discussing my disagreement with something so personal as their lifestyle and feelings.
I am not sure of the coherence of this post...it kind of came out in fragmented thoughts rather than well thought out and organized, but lets face it...I dont have time to proof-read. :) I just hope that I got my message across, and that people gathered that:
1) I am not condoning or condemning a homosexual lifestyle, (maybe my next post I'll dive into that...) but I do feel strongly that it is not simply a "choice" and that there is a huge need for sensitivity in the Church
2) I am not saying that Christians don't have a responsibility to judge, or that they should gloss over and accept things that they feel are wrong. Healthy debates are important and meangingful, however, they must be in the context of love and trust.
I suppose I should start studying for midterms now. Haha. Your thoughts?
