work and such.

My week after the lonely, broken-things weekend has not been much better. I really don't have a reason why, except that I'm an intuitive girl (or just a regular girl...)and I can tell that my emotions are not where they usually are. I don't like it when Jay is gone-I've gotten so spoiled by having him around me all the time. It has been good-I found out that I CAN live alone if I have to (not that I would want to!), and I can take care of myself and be alone. I was starting to get scared after the weekend that I had lost my independence and self-sufficience after a year of marriage. I haven't. I guess I just forgot what it was like since my husband takes such great care of me! He might come home tomorrow, which I am pretty excited about. Its just hard to be in a new place without your parner in crime! (What am I saying? We're way too lame for crime! This is spoken from the two who like to scrapbook and go to bed at 9:30...)

Anyways, I seriously came to a point at work today when I thought I was going to quit for real. And to be honest, the only thing holding me back is that I JUST had my boss write a recommendation for Vanderbilt, and put her as a reference on my resume which I sent to all 3 schools. If I quit, she probably would not give me as good of a reference, if a good one at all! And thats a big deal, because the reason I took this job was to be able to put it on my resume and show off that I worked with OB/GYNs...to look good for schools and future jobs. So I can't really blow it here. I am telling myself that I have to at least stay until I find out if I get into school or not, which should be around Feb/March. Then, based on which (if any) school(s) I get into, I will have a lot of decisions to make, my employment being one of them. I just have to hang on until then. It is probably going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do! At least the holidays/time off are coming up. That will help.