OH-HI-OH

Here I am, in the middle of nowhere where my parents have lived for the past year and a half. Its strange to be with my family, but have it not feel like home. This is only the second time I've been here, but this is considered home to my family. I'm not sure what to call it. When they first gave me the home phone number I was typing it into my phone and couldn't figure out what to call it..."home" didnt really seem right....and it wasn't under "mom" because it was also steve, jim and jake...I ended up naming it "Metcalfe" which sounds way to impersonal to be my family, but oh well. Its been very refreshing to get away...for the first time since Christmas. To leave the responsibilities we have at home and relax far away. I've done a lot of reading, and thinking, and its nice.

The strangest part is that I feel like I am on a different level now....not really one of the kids, but not one of the parents either. My mom and Steve lace parenting strategies between breaths and leak inside information that they would never tell the boys when Jay and I are around....like we're now allowed into some secret society of parenting and adulthood. We sit together and talk about how we hope Jim and Jake and Ben grow up to be mature and responsible, and what the current state of their lives are. Yet sometimes we're still grouped into the category with the boys when they call for the "kids" to come to dinner. Its a very strange place to be.

Its also strange to go from begging your parents for something you really want, to feeling bad letting them pay for your dinner, because you know how poor they are and what paying bills is like. Its the weird transient stage between childhood and adulthood...I wonder how long it lasts. Maybe until we have children of our own and can be considered parents? Or maybe we're destined to be the sandwitch generation always....to be joined later by younger siblings.

To have and to hold

I just got back from Candice and Jon's wedding. It was me and Jay's first wedding as a married couple...which was mostly cool, except for when I had to sit out on the bouquet toss. That was always kind of fun!

So anyways, the wedding was absolutely fantastic. Everything was beautiful and perfect, and Jay and I even won the centerpiece! Haha. Its on my table right now. :) I have pictures on my facebook, and I'll be uploading them to my photos site at some point...(the link is on the left). I can't believe they are finally married, I am sooo happy for them!!!

Wow, 2 posts in one day?

Lucky you. Haha.

I've been thinking a lot about friendships lately. Lately as in...the past year or so. They really are funny when you think about it. Especially friendships between girls. They are always so much more dramatic than guys' friendships. I mean, Jay is still friends with guys that REALLY screwed him over....girls would certainly have a problem with continuing those friendships!

I guess I'm kind of re-evaluating what I look for in a frienship. I've always had a lot of friends (not to be conceited or anything, it just happens!) and I've always liked it that way. Each friend brings something different to my life that I appreciate. Its incredibly rare to have one friend who has all the qualities you look for in a companion, so drawing different qualities from different people is quite refreshing. However, there are definitely different categories of friends as well...there's the friends who I like to hang out with, but don't necessarily trust them or tell them too much personal information, and then there are friends that I would trust with my life and tell them almost everything. There's friends that keep me in check and are always honest with me, and friends I can go to to make me feel better about myself. There are friends that make me laugh, and friends that let me cry. There are friends who I consider my "best friends"....who I trust, like to hang out with, who understand me, AND who I feel comfortable around. Thats a big one. You know you have a best friend if you can let a month or more go by without speaking to each other, and you can just pick up where you left off without any awkwardness. And obviously a lot of these categories overlap for most of my friends, but its just so funny and interesting how multi-faceted my friendships are.

I am just glad I have so many people who I can consider friends. I am learning my limits recently...as far as who to trust and when to keep my mouth shut and keep things to myself....but its really nice. Thank you...if you're reading this...for being one of my best friends. I have definitely grown to appreciate you so much more every day that goes by and every hardship I go through. I love you!

Okay. Decided.

Emily's convinced me. Now lets see....deep dark secrets....hmmm.....

The thing I like about blogger is that you can control who sees it...I like that. You can type in specific email addresses and only they can see it. Granted, they have to have gmail, but most of my friends that I want to allow to read it have gmail, and the ones who don't should get it. :) (I already made Kim sign up for Gmail!) now Jen, Janelle and Kim A need to..... :)

Anyone watch ER last night? I'm watching it right now on my DVR. Its crazy! Poor Ray. Last night was a good TV night...the office, grey's.....wow I watch too many TV shows now that I can tape them and watch them at my convenience.

I promise I'll write something more thought provoking later.

Should I use this?

I think I'm becoming notorious for switching blogs. For a while, I had xanga. But I let too many people into that one...random ENC students, and most of all...my dad. Would you want your dad reading your blog EVERY DAY? That was a big whoops. So then I transferred my blog to my myspace...another whoops because how much can you really say when all of your youth group kids plus your dad AGAIN has access to it? Ugh. Maybe it is time I started a new blog where I can actually say what I want and have control over who reads it....I can still use my myspace one if I have some sort of statement to the general public, meaning the 3000 friends that I have somehow that have access to it...

*sigh*