OH-HI-OH

Here I am, in the middle of nowhere where my parents have lived for the past year and a half. Its strange to be with my family, but have it not feel like home. This is only the second time I've been here, but this is considered home to my family. I'm not sure what to call it. When they first gave me the home phone number I was typing it into my phone and couldn't figure out what to call it..."home" didnt really seem right....and it wasn't under "mom" because it was also steve, jim and jake...I ended up naming it "Metcalfe" which sounds way to impersonal to be my family, but oh well. Its been very refreshing to get away...for the first time since Christmas. To leave the responsibilities we have at home and relax far away. I've done a lot of reading, and thinking, and its nice.

The strangest part is that I feel like I am on a different level now....not really one of the kids, but not one of the parents either. My mom and Steve lace parenting strategies between breaths and leak inside information that they would never tell the boys when Jay and I are around....like we're now allowed into some secret society of parenting and adulthood. We sit together and talk about how we hope Jim and Jake and Ben grow up to be mature and responsible, and what the current state of their lives are. Yet sometimes we're still grouped into the category with the boys when they call for the "kids" to come to dinner. Its a very strange place to be.

Its also strange to go from begging your parents for something you really want, to feeling bad letting them pay for your dinner, because you know how poor they are and what paying bills is like. Its the weird transient stage between childhood and adulthood...I wonder how long it lasts. Maybe until we have children of our own and can be considered parents? Or maybe we're destined to be the sandwitch generation always....to be joined later by younger siblings.