As I'm getting closer and closer to having a job (hopefully), I've begun to think about what working really means and starting to panic a little bit. I mean, I've been home with Carter just about 24/7 for 6 1/2 months. The only motherhood I know is being with him all the time.
Although I want to work, and am looking forward to it in a lot of ways, I am really having a hard time knowing that working means not being with Carter as much. Mommy guilt is the worst! As of now, *I* am the one he knows the best, the one that knows him the best and the one who knows exactly what he needs. How will I deal with this shifting? Will he get more used to the way that child care does things than how I do them? Not that my ways are better, but I am his mom and the idea of the ways I do things as being foreign to him is scary. Right now its all he knows.
He's my little buddy. We spend all day together. Of course, there are days/moments when I wish I could thrust him in the hands of someone else and take a break, but overall I enjoy being with him. He goes everywhere with me.
What will I do when I only get to see him for about an hour total during weekday work days, when I get home from work right before he goes to bed? Yikes!! I can't even imagine it. What if I miss the first time he crawls, or says mama, or actually starts to enjoy solid foods? The thought of not being able to be a part of those moments is so sad.
I know that this is the reason I am only going to work part time, but maybe I've over-committed. When I'm home from work, I'll have to be doing grading, etc. for Principles of Bio. Am I going to have ANY time to spend with Carter, let alone Jay?
I know that I want to work, and doing so is the right decision for us, especially financially....but I'm kind of having a freak-out day wondering if I'm making the right decision. I don't want to regret it, or feel like I'm missing out on Carter's whole life. :(
4.30.2012
4.08.2012
church.
Okay, I thought I'd blog about something on my mind lately (as in, the past couple of years). Church. Is this blasphemous that I'm writing this on Easter Sunday morning? Probably.
As of right now, sometimes even the thought of going to church puts a pit in my stomach. I am so tired of the routine of: dress up and grab your Bible --> grab a bulletin from a greeter --> find a pew --> Welcome & announcements from Pastor --> Worship songs --> communion/special music/prayer/whatever --> sermon about how to make Jesus fit into our every day lives --> prayer --> leave ready for lunch and a nap.
I know most of this is from my experience growing up in and sticking with the Nazarene/Baptist church for the most part, and all church is not like this. But after living in 3 states and 8 addresses in our 5 years of marriage, Jay and I have been to a lot of churches. We've pretty much stayed within the Protestant denomination, but the structure is always the same-just throw a little extra presentations or special music in, sometimes a splash of communion, sometimes a shorter/longer sermon, sometimes you're allowed to have coffee in the sanctuary (gasp!), but its all the same.
Simply put, I'm tired of it. Here are a few of my questions. And disclaimer again: I know not EVERY church is like this. Some churches might have it together. This is purely based off of my experiences in the last 28 years of churchgoing.
1- Why does church have to be on Sunday mornings?
2- Why does church have to involve all these structural components, and in the same order?
3- Why are we forced to "worship" through music collectively, for 10 minutes, every Sunday? How many people go home and worship on their own, either through music or in other ways?
4- Why are sermons always about either warm fuzzy topics or "tough" topics which are usually about giving things up in your life that hinder your spiritual growth? Why do pastors always try to make Jesus' message mold to fit our easy, 21st century lives?
5- Why is serving others discussed pretty much only once a month, and only when talking about one time mission trips or excursions (next week, we're going to go sing at the nursing home!)
6- Why is doubting and asking questions so discouraged? I'm sure most pastors would say that it is NOT discouraged and in fact encouraged, but I certainly have never felt encouraged to do so in church-so something is missing there.
7- Why do most people put on a happy face mask for church, give fluffy prayer requests (please pray for my son's friend who was in a car accident-please pray for my grandfather who has cancer-please pray I do well on my test this week), and then go home and struggle with things they would be horrified to share in church? Where are the REAL prayer requests? (Please pray for me-I'm struggling with what I believe, I am trying to figure out what it means to be a gay Christian, I am struggling with mental illness, my marriage is struggling, etc)
8- Why are children sent downstairs to receive a dumbed-down child size happy-feeling message filled with songs, snacks and play time? How does this prepare them to appreciate church and faith as an adult?
Lets get one thing straight-I am not anti-church. In fact, I think church is important. However, I just haven't yet found a church where I feel like I belong, or where I don't feel sick to my stomach at the comfortable structured American-ness of it.
I feel like the primary reason to have churches and NOT just worship/study individually is because we are called to be a community of believers. Supporting one another, adding different viewpoints/opinions to various topics, working together to help the community around us.
To me, THAT is the point of church. Not obligation, not societal expectation, not to sit there and be "fed" weekly by a message.
Here is what I wish church looked like. And yes, I'm aware that I'm adding some kind of structure here, which is what I'm raging against, but just go with me here.
1. Not necessarily on Sunday morning, weekly.
2. Has a part of the "service" dedicated to discussing doubts, questions, hot topics, Bible passages, etc. regarding the Christian faith. Obviously this is where a "pastor" type, or someone with formal theological training would come into play-to add things like "well, this is who wrote this Bible passage, and this was the cultural context at the time, and this is what the original meaning was in Hebrew/Greek, and these are different ways this passage is interpreted, that topic is mentioned in the Bible here", etc. etc. etc)
3. Has a part of the "service" dedicated to discussing REAL struggles in one's life or the community. And the answers by the rest of the group to these struggles are not simply "I'll pray for you" but "I'll pray for you AND here's how I plan to help you with this".
4. Has a part of the "service" dedicated to looking for tangible, long term ways to help the community-and then putting plans in motion to actually do it.
That's all I want.
Strip down the rest of the church show and give me this.
THEN I'll go to church.
As of right now, sometimes even the thought of going to church puts a pit in my stomach. I am so tired of the routine of: dress up and grab your Bible --> grab a bulletin from a greeter --> find a pew --> Welcome & announcements from Pastor --> Worship songs --> communion/special music/prayer/whatever --> sermon about how to make Jesus fit into our every day lives --> prayer --> leave ready for lunch and a nap.
I know most of this is from my experience growing up in and sticking with the Nazarene/Baptist church for the most part, and all church is not like this. But after living in 3 states and 8 addresses in our 5 years of marriage, Jay and I have been to a lot of churches. We've pretty much stayed within the Protestant denomination, but the structure is always the same-just throw a little extra presentations or special music in, sometimes a splash of communion, sometimes a shorter/longer sermon, sometimes you're allowed to have coffee in the sanctuary (gasp!), but its all the same.
Simply put, I'm tired of it. Here are a few of my questions. And disclaimer again: I know not EVERY church is like this. Some churches might have it together. This is purely based off of my experiences in the last 28 years of churchgoing.
1- Why does church have to be on Sunday mornings?
2- Why does church have to involve all these structural components, and in the same order?
3- Why are we forced to "worship" through music collectively, for 10 minutes, every Sunday? How many people go home and worship on their own, either through music or in other ways?
4- Why are sermons always about either warm fuzzy topics or "tough" topics which are usually about giving things up in your life that hinder your spiritual growth? Why do pastors always try to make Jesus' message mold to fit our easy, 21st century lives?
5- Why is serving others discussed pretty much only once a month, and only when talking about one time mission trips or excursions (next week, we're going to go sing at the nursing home!)
6- Why is doubting and asking questions so discouraged? I'm sure most pastors would say that it is NOT discouraged and in fact encouraged, but I certainly have never felt encouraged to do so in church-so something is missing there.
7- Why do most people put on a happy face mask for church, give fluffy prayer requests (please pray for my son's friend who was in a car accident-please pray for my grandfather who has cancer-please pray I do well on my test this week), and then go home and struggle with things they would be horrified to share in church? Where are the REAL prayer requests? (Please pray for me-I'm struggling with what I believe, I am trying to figure out what it means to be a gay Christian, I am struggling with mental illness, my marriage is struggling, etc)
8- Why are children sent downstairs to receive a dumbed-down child size happy-feeling message filled with songs, snacks and play time? How does this prepare them to appreciate church and faith as an adult?
Lets get one thing straight-I am not anti-church. In fact, I think church is important. However, I just haven't yet found a church where I feel like I belong, or where I don't feel sick to my stomach at the comfortable structured American-ness of it.
I feel like the primary reason to have churches and NOT just worship/study individually is because we are called to be a community of believers. Supporting one another, adding different viewpoints/opinions to various topics, working together to help the community around us.
To me, THAT is the point of church. Not obligation, not societal expectation, not to sit there and be "fed" weekly by a message.
Here is what I wish church looked like. And yes, I'm aware that I'm adding some kind of structure here, which is what I'm raging against, but just go with me here.
1. Not necessarily on Sunday morning, weekly.
2. Has a part of the "service" dedicated to discussing doubts, questions, hot topics, Bible passages, etc. regarding the Christian faith. Obviously this is where a "pastor" type, or someone with formal theological training would come into play-to add things like "well, this is who wrote this Bible passage, and this was the cultural context at the time, and this is what the original meaning was in Hebrew/Greek, and these are different ways this passage is interpreted, that topic is mentioned in the Bible here", etc. etc. etc)
3. Has a part of the "service" dedicated to discussing REAL struggles in one's life or the community. And the answers by the rest of the group to these struggles are not simply "I'll pray for you" but "I'll pray for you AND here's how I plan to help you with this".
4. Has a part of the "service" dedicated to looking for tangible, long term ways to help the community-and then putting plans in motion to actually do it.
That's all I want.
Strip down the rest of the church show and give me this.
THEN I'll go to church.
4.07.2012
Excitified
I found out recently that I might actually get what I've been waiting 8 months for...a job opportunity where I did my clinical rotations. I am 50% excited and 50% terrified....100% excitified.
What if I've forgotten everything I've learned since school? What if I don't live up to the positive reputation that I've been given? What if they are disappointed in me? What if I mess up....and the cost is bigger than I could ever imagine?
What if I can't handle being a working mom? What if I feel guilty for leaving Carter? What if I took on too much-between agreeing to teach in the fall/spring, a job, a husband and a son?
What if I fail?
What if I've forgotten everything I've learned since school? What if I don't live up to the positive reputation that I've been given? What if they are disappointed in me? What if I mess up....and the cost is bigger than I could ever imagine?
What if I can't handle being a working mom? What if I feel guilty for leaving Carter? What if I took on too much-between agreeing to teach in the fall/spring, a job, a husband and a son?
What if I fail?
3.30.2012
Reverting to quizzes
Lately (as in the past 5 years or so) I've been going through this spiritual journey/searching/doubting kind of thing, whatever you want to call it. I hope to post more here about my struggles, decisions, etc. if I'm brave enough. I hate confrontation and disagreements, especially within groups of Christians because we can be the nastiest people out there, and I don't want any part of that. So while I'm hoping my blog can become a place where I can get my thoughts out through writing (which has always helped me), I am gun shy just because of my natural recoil to discussing anything remotely controversial that someone *might* disagree with, however essential to my journey of faith.
This morning I spent Carter's nap period not doing the dishes or planning my class for the fall like I was supposed to, but frantically googleing things like "what type of Christian religion are you quiz" and "what church do I belong to". Jay and I have been very wishy washy about church the last couple years because we haven't really felt like we identified with any of the ones around us. I DO believe in the beauty and necessity of having a faith community of some kind, however, I don't necessarily believe this has to take place at 11am every Sunday. We're working through that one currently.
Anyways, one of the quizzes I took this morning was called "What kind of Christian are you" and this was my result..
This morning I spent Carter's nap period not doing the dishes or planning my class for the fall like I was supposed to, but frantically googleing things like "what type of Christian religion are you quiz" and "what church do I belong to". Jay and I have been very wishy washy about church the last couple years because we haven't really felt like we identified with any of the ones around us. I DO believe in the beauty and necessity of having a faith community of some kind, however, I don't necessarily believe this has to take place at 11am every Sunday. We're working through that one currently.
Anyways, one of the quizzes I took this morning was called "What kind of Christian are you" and this was my result..
You are A Brian McLaren Christian
A.k.a. a Rob Bell, Phyllis Tickle, N.T. Wright, Tim Keller, Eugene Peterson Christian. You subscribe to Sojourners or Relevant...or, more likely, Rolling Stone, Paste and The Atlantic. (And maybe even Geez!) Your Christian history is rooted in St. Francis, who leads (through Gandhi) to Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King, Jr. You emphasize social justice as an element of God's kingdom. You might be "emergent" or "progressive," but you're probably post-evangelical.
...not surprising at all, but not exactly what I was searching for-why can't google just magically tell me what denomination EXACTLY fits my beliefs and then mapquest a church that is awesome and only .3 miles from where I live? Come on, internet. Don't let me down now.
...not surprising at all, but not exactly what I was searching for-why can't google just magically tell me what denomination EXACTLY fits my beliefs and then mapquest a church that is awesome and only .3 miles from where I live? Come on, internet. Don't let me down now.
3.28.2012
Am I strict?
I'm going back and forth lately regarding being a strict parent/scheduling. Some mothers swear by it (babywise types), some mothers swear against it (attachment parenting types). I can't say I 100% fall into either camp, and I think that is OK with me. I find that I'm strict about some things and not strict about other things, and so far that has worked for me. For example:
1. I'm very strict about going no less than 2 hours and no more than 3 1/2 hours between feedings during the day. If it has been less than 2 hours and Carter is fussy, I give him a pacifier or put him down for a nap and he will usually settle down fairly quickly. I am sure I'd be crucified by strict AP's for doing this (including one of my former preceptors), however-I think that because of this, Carter has seemed to learn that the boob is strictly for eating, not comfort. When he's done eating, he stops and actually prefers to have a pacifier. That might not be okay for some, but it is quite freeing for me! If it has been 3 hours since he last ate and he is awake, I feed him whether he seems upset/hungry or not. He has never once turned me down! :) If he is sleeping at 3 hours, I will let him go to 3 1/2 and either feed him whenever he wakes up or-YES-I will wake him up. (gasp! I thought you were never supposed to wake a sleeping baby!) I've found that he sleeps better at night when he doesn't go long stretches during the day without eating, and THAT is worth it to me!!
2. At night, I'm also somewhat strict about feeding. He does sleep through the night-most of the time. And by that I mean to bed at 7 or 8pm, waking once around 5-6am to eat and then going back to sleep until 7 or 8am. Sometimes he will wake up and cry during the night, and Jay or I will give him a pacifier and shush him, and he usually goes right back to sleep. If he does not, we will see if he'll calm down in 2 minutes or so, and if he doesn't I will feed him. I really try not to feed him before 5am but it has happened sometimes (probably growth spurts). I just can't get myself to let him cry it out at this point-especially because he sleeps through the night without waking more than not. One day dropping that 5-6am feeding will be pretty awesome! Jay and I have a system for it though-he goes in to get Carter while I get ready (lay on my side, put a waterproof pad underneath where he will lie, get a burp rag ready and closeby, and lift my shirt, basically..haha). He brings him to me and I will feed him on one side (usually takes 5-10 mins). Then Jay will burp him while I get ready to switch sides, and bring him to my other side when he's done. After Carter's done with the other side, I burp him and put him back to bed. It works very well for us!
3. I am not super strict about nap times. (This is where the babywise parents shake their heads at me). Since he's been born, Carter has been a great napper. Basically, when he's tired, he just goes to sleep, wherever he is and whenever it is. He could be in my arms, in his crib, on his playmat, in the bouncer, in the swing, wherever. Now, at 5 1/2 months, he has gone from probably 7 or 8 30 minute naps a day to 3- 4 naps a day. I haven't tried to schedule it, it just usually happens. So why mess with a good thing? I try to make sure he takes a morning nap (somewhere around 9-11am), an early afternoon nap (somewhere around 11am-1pm) and an afternoon nap (somewhere around 1-3pm). Depending on what time his afternoon nap was, he will usually take another one around 4-5:30pm. Then he goes to bed at 7 usually. I can tell when he's tired (he gets cranky and rubs his eyes), so whenever that happens, if he doesn't fall asleep where he is, I usually either put him in his swing (he sleeps reeeeally well in the swing!) or in his crib, and he generally falls asleep easily. These days, his naps are usually 45min-1hr long.
4. I am very strict about a bedtime routine. I think it has really helped Carter know that this is not a nap-this is bedtime-and he is to sleep for a LONG time. Haha. I feed him in my bed, change him into his PJs/nighttime diaper, read him a book, and sing to him. Then the white noise giraffe and his mobile go on, and he's usually out like a light. Awesome.
5. I am not (well, I'm trying not to be) strict about where he goes to bed. I don't want to be the type of family that HAS to be home at 7pm for their kid to go to bed (what kind of life is that??). I haven't had too many opportunities to have him go to bed somewhere else yet, but I'm hoping to do that at least a few times each month so that he will fall asleep anywhere and not have to be home.
6. I am strict about keeping up my milk supply. If Carter gets a bottle, I pump. It might not be at the same time that he gets the bottle, but I make sure that I pump once for each bottle he gets that day. Usually the pumping session happens at night, when he is in bed, which works well. I think that doing this has maintained my milk supply as I have never had a supply issue-if anything, I had a massive oversupply in the beginning. I try not to pump as much as possible, however-which usually results in me bringing Carter everywhere I go and/or rushing home from errands so I can feed him, which is a little stressful at times. It is just so much easier to just nurse him than it is to pump! Not to mention, it is not super comfortable to skip feedings and I'm terrified of getting mastitis again!
Okay, so now that I've made the list it seems like I'm pretty strict about most things. Here I am, thinking that I am such a laid-back parent, and I guess it turns out I'm not at all. Oh well. Haha. I should have known. I suppose that naturally anxious parent + first time parent = generally super strict parent. I will just have to try to fight this in some ways in the future when he is old enough to hate me for it...
1. I'm very strict about going no less than 2 hours and no more than 3 1/2 hours between feedings during the day. If it has been less than 2 hours and Carter is fussy, I give him a pacifier or put him down for a nap and he will usually settle down fairly quickly. I am sure I'd be crucified by strict AP's for doing this (including one of my former preceptors), however-I think that because of this, Carter has seemed to learn that the boob is strictly for eating, not comfort. When he's done eating, he stops and actually prefers to have a pacifier. That might not be okay for some, but it is quite freeing for me! If it has been 3 hours since he last ate and he is awake, I feed him whether he seems upset/hungry or not. He has never once turned me down! :) If he is sleeping at 3 hours, I will let him go to 3 1/2 and either feed him whenever he wakes up or-YES-I will wake him up. (gasp! I thought you were never supposed to wake a sleeping baby!) I've found that he sleeps better at night when he doesn't go long stretches during the day without eating, and THAT is worth it to me!!
2. At night, I'm also somewhat strict about feeding. He does sleep through the night-most of the time. And by that I mean to bed at 7 or 8pm, waking once around 5-6am to eat and then going back to sleep until 7 or 8am. Sometimes he will wake up and cry during the night, and Jay or I will give him a pacifier and shush him, and he usually goes right back to sleep. If he does not, we will see if he'll calm down in 2 minutes or so, and if he doesn't I will feed him. I really try not to feed him before 5am but it has happened sometimes (probably growth spurts). I just can't get myself to let him cry it out at this point-especially because he sleeps through the night without waking more than not. One day dropping that 5-6am feeding will be pretty awesome! Jay and I have a system for it though-he goes in to get Carter while I get ready (lay on my side, put a waterproof pad underneath where he will lie, get a burp rag ready and closeby, and lift my shirt, basically..haha). He brings him to me and I will feed him on one side (usually takes 5-10 mins). Then Jay will burp him while I get ready to switch sides, and bring him to my other side when he's done. After Carter's done with the other side, I burp him and put him back to bed. It works very well for us!
3. I am not super strict about nap times. (This is where the babywise parents shake their heads at me). Since he's been born, Carter has been a great napper. Basically, when he's tired, he just goes to sleep, wherever he is and whenever it is. He could be in my arms, in his crib, on his playmat, in the bouncer, in the swing, wherever. Now, at 5 1/2 months, he has gone from probably 7 or 8 30 minute naps a day to 3- 4 naps a day. I haven't tried to schedule it, it just usually happens. So why mess with a good thing? I try to make sure he takes a morning nap (somewhere around 9-11am), an early afternoon nap (somewhere around 11am-1pm) and an afternoon nap (somewhere around 1-3pm). Depending on what time his afternoon nap was, he will usually take another one around 4-5:30pm. Then he goes to bed at 7 usually. I can tell when he's tired (he gets cranky and rubs his eyes), so whenever that happens, if he doesn't fall asleep where he is, I usually either put him in his swing (he sleeps reeeeally well in the swing!) or in his crib, and he generally falls asleep easily. These days, his naps are usually 45min-1hr long.
4. I am very strict about a bedtime routine. I think it has really helped Carter know that this is not a nap-this is bedtime-and he is to sleep for a LONG time. Haha. I feed him in my bed, change him into his PJs/nighttime diaper, read him a book, and sing to him. Then the white noise giraffe and his mobile go on, and he's usually out like a light. Awesome.
5. I am not (well, I'm trying not to be) strict about where he goes to bed. I don't want to be the type of family that HAS to be home at 7pm for their kid to go to bed (what kind of life is that??). I haven't had too many opportunities to have him go to bed somewhere else yet, but I'm hoping to do that at least a few times each month so that he will fall asleep anywhere and not have to be home.
6. I am strict about keeping up my milk supply. If Carter gets a bottle, I pump. It might not be at the same time that he gets the bottle, but I make sure that I pump once for each bottle he gets that day. Usually the pumping session happens at night, when he is in bed, which works well. I think that doing this has maintained my milk supply as I have never had a supply issue-if anything, I had a massive oversupply in the beginning. I try not to pump as much as possible, however-which usually results in me bringing Carter everywhere I go and/or rushing home from errands so I can feed him, which is a little stressful at times. It is just so much easier to just nurse him than it is to pump! Not to mention, it is not super comfortable to skip feedings and I'm terrified of getting mastitis again!
Okay, so now that I've made the list it seems like I'm pretty strict about most things. Here I am, thinking that I am such a laid-back parent, and I guess it turns out I'm not at all. Oh well. Haha. I should have known. I suppose that naturally anxious parent + first time parent = generally super strict parent. I will just have to try to fight this in some ways in the future when he is old enough to hate me for it...
3.27.2012
Baby Must Haves/Stuff Advice
I decided to write this post since I feel like I've learned a lot in the past few months that there is no way I would know unless I had a baby of my own. A lot of this advice was thankfully passed down to me from friends who had been there before as well. I don't want to forget any of it, so that I can also share with friends having their first baby as well as patients. Keep in mind, this is only my opinions, I'm sure many people will have different experiences with these products than I do/did.
-Best sleepers: Stretchies from the Children's Place. They are lightweight, have ZIPPERS (you try doing tons of tiny little snaps on a squirmy baby at 3am), and the feet just fit right. The sizing is pretty accurate too. Plus, they have adorable patterns and are cheap!
-When it comes to onesies, Carter's brand are really good (and not just because it shares a name with my son!). They are found most places (including Kohl's), reasonably priced, and they are generally true to size. Plus, they fit well-some other onesies tend to be too wide and not long enough. Gerber brand fits well, but they run AT LEAST 2 sizes too small (Carter is currently 5 months old, wears 12 month clothes for the most part, and is in 24 MONTH Gerber onesies...) and Babies R Us brand fit well too but they run about one size too small (Carter is wearing 18 mo BRU onesies). Invest in/register for some short AND long sleeved white onesies. You will always get use out of them alone or under other clothes!
- My Brest Friend is the best nursing pillow. The boppy is good for propping/tummy time/etc. but sucks for nursing. The Brest Friend is flatter, you can snap it around your waist, and there are little bumps in it to elevate the baby's head. It's great!
-When buying a stroller, if you are sold on getting a travel system (one where the car seat can snap onto the stroller and then when the baby outgrows the carseat it can be used as a regular stroller), keep the WEIGHT of the stroller in mind. If it is more than 20-25lbs, it can be very burdensome, especially when you're by yourself and lugging it out of the trunk of the car to go into a store. Some good, lightweight travel system strollers are the Graco Metrolite and the Graco LiteRider, which both hold a Graco Snugride 30 or 35, which are rated top in infant car seat safety. Chicco brand is good too.
-A good alternative to a travel system is getting a snap n go to use with the infant carseat and then a separate, lightweight stroller. Some things to look out for: presence of cupholders (for mom of course), the size of the basket underneath (you'd be surprised how much crap you put down there), and the handle bar height if you're especially tall (like me) or short. In general, what you pay for is what you get when it comes to strollers, but that doesn't mean that cheaper ones can't be good too.
-When registering for gifts, go ahead and put a bigger, convertible carseat on there. If you get it, great! You don't have to pay for it later when you need one! The top of the line in safety is the Britax brand. Keep the weight limits in mind-the higher the weight limit, the longer you can use it. Make sure it is able to be used rear facing for as long as possible, as the AAP recommends keeping children rear facing until at least age 2.
- When looking for a swing, try to find one that plugs into the wall. Ones that only take batteries can get very annoying....
-Before buying/registering for ANYTHING, look at the reviews, especially on Amazon.com. That will tell you a lot about the quality of the product!
-If you plan to cloth diaper, buy a couple different brands to find your favorite(s) before investing in a large amount of one brand. Also, invest in some hemp inserts to use as doublers, especially overnight. Also, if you cloth diaper, cloth wipe too-so much easier and cheaper! Many people just use cheap, dollar tree baby washcloths as cloth wipes, or you can make your own with flannel/terrycloth fabrics.
-If you plan to use disposable diapers, Pampers Swaddlers are the best, hands down. They don't leak, fit well, and have the wetness indicator strip which is useful so you don't have to undo the diaper to tell if it is wet when they are a newborn.
-Using old school cloth diapers as burp cloths is very cost effective. You will need LOTS!
-I love Green Sprouts toys and tethers.
-When buying/registering for crib sheets, make sure the elastic goes all the way around and is not just in the corners. I like SheetWorld crib sheets, and they come in lots of colors.
-If your baby is choking/gulping/spitting up when drinking from bottles even with a slow flow nipple, try using a Preemie nipple. These Dr. Brown's ones work in both Dr. Brown's and Medela bottles.
-Lansinoh breastmilk storage bags are the best. They don't leak and hold a good amount of milk. Speaking of lansinoh, don't bother getting/registering for nipple creams. You can take some home from the hospital, and a little goes a long way. Plus, if you are having serious nipple issues, APNO (Rx only) cream takes the cake.
-Don't get disposable nursing pads. They are a waste of money, they leak and they show through your clothes. Cloth nursing pads are great, but most of them show through your clothes as well, and they can leak too. I've found the best ones to be bamboobies, which don't leak, and they are heart shaped which don't show under clothes. I can't even express enough how much I love these things. Worth the $$!!
-These are the best nursing tanks, hands down. They are supportive, easy to use, and comfortable. Worth the $$. The ones I've gotten from Target, etc just don't compare. I wish I had bought like 5 of these in different colors instead of ANY nursing bras. It is a lot more discreet when nursing in public, since it covers your middle.
-When it comes to getting a first aid/safety/grooming kit, make sure it has: nail clippers and a nasal aspirator. They usually include thermometers, but I learned the hard way that the ones that generally come in the kits take FOREVER to take a temp reading. You do NOT want it taking more than a few seconds when you have a stick up your baby's bum. You will probably have to register for/buy a separate thermometer-any kind is good as long as it clearly states that it takes quick readings!
-These swaddlers with velcro or something similar are awesome, and so easy to use. Much easier than swaddling with a blanket.
-Even if you don't think you will want a video monitor now, you most likely will after the baby is born. And if you're not sure, register for/buy one and just keep it in the box until you either decide to use it or return it. This is the one I have, and I like it because it tells you the temperature in the room, and it has a button that you can use to talk to the child when they get older (read: "get back in bed!!" or "I'm coming, hold on a second!")
-I love Mustela products, especially the lotion. Its great for baby skin conditions.
-Tovolo carries good, cheap silicone ice cube trays that are great to use for freezing baby food. Each square is about one ounce, and they are square so you can pop them out and freeze them in a bag and they can stand up or lay down nicely.
-I really like my Ergo baby carrier. It supports the baby by their bum instead of their crotch like the Bjorn does, which is better for their hips and just seems like it is more comfortable. Plus, you can wear it on your back (or daddy can!) which is a nice option. The Moby wrap is great too, especially when they are a newborn since it cradles them and keeps them close to you.
That's all I can think of off the top of my head of things I've learned that I would have never known before having a baby/doing research on products. I will keep adding to the list as I think of things/experience things and maybe one day will organize the points by product type so they aren't so scattered :). Hope this is helpful!
-Best sleepers: Stretchies from the Children's Place. They are lightweight, have ZIPPERS (you try doing tons of tiny little snaps on a squirmy baby at 3am), and the feet just fit right. The sizing is pretty accurate too. Plus, they have adorable patterns and are cheap!
-When it comes to onesies, Carter's brand are really good (and not just because it shares a name with my son!). They are found most places (including Kohl's), reasonably priced, and they are generally true to size. Plus, they fit well-some other onesies tend to be too wide and not long enough. Gerber brand fits well, but they run AT LEAST 2 sizes too small (Carter is currently 5 months old, wears 12 month clothes for the most part, and is in 24 MONTH Gerber onesies...) and Babies R Us brand fit well too but they run about one size too small (Carter is wearing 18 mo BRU onesies). Invest in/register for some short AND long sleeved white onesies. You will always get use out of them alone or under other clothes!
- My Brest Friend is the best nursing pillow. The boppy is good for propping/tummy time/etc. but sucks for nursing. The Brest Friend is flatter, you can snap it around your waist, and there are little bumps in it to elevate the baby's head. It's great!
-When buying a stroller, if you are sold on getting a travel system (one where the car seat can snap onto the stroller and then when the baby outgrows the carseat it can be used as a regular stroller), keep the WEIGHT of the stroller in mind. If it is more than 20-25lbs, it can be very burdensome, especially when you're by yourself and lugging it out of the trunk of the car to go into a store. Some good, lightweight travel system strollers are the Graco Metrolite and the Graco LiteRider, which both hold a Graco Snugride 30 or 35, which are rated top in infant car seat safety. Chicco brand is good too.
-A good alternative to a travel system is getting a snap n go to use with the infant carseat and then a separate, lightweight stroller. Some things to look out for: presence of cupholders (for mom of course), the size of the basket underneath (you'd be surprised how much crap you put down there), and the handle bar height if you're especially tall (like me) or short. In general, what you pay for is what you get when it comes to strollers, but that doesn't mean that cheaper ones can't be good too.
-When registering for gifts, go ahead and put a bigger, convertible carseat on there. If you get it, great! You don't have to pay for it later when you need one! The top of the line in safety is the Britax brand. Keep the weight limits in mind-the higher the weight limit, the longer you can use it. Make sure it is able to be used rear facing for as long as possible, as the AAP recommends keeping children rear facing until at least age 2.
- When looking for a swing, try to find one that plugs into the wall. Ones that only take batteries can get very annoying....
-Before buying/registering for ANYTHING, look at the reviews, especially on Amazon.com. That will tell you a lot about the quality of the product!
-If you plan to cloth diaper, buy a couple different brands to find your favorite(s) before investing in a large amount of one brand. Also, invest in some hemp inserts to use as doublers, especially overnight. Also, if you cloth diaper, cloth wipe too-so much easier and cheaper! Many people just use cheap, dollar tree baby washcloths as cloth wipes, or you can make your own with flannel/terrycloth fabrics.
-If you plan to use disposable diapers, Pampers Swaddlers are the best, hands down. They don't leak, fit well, and have the wetness indicator strip which is useful so you don't have to undo the diaper to tell if it is wet when they are a newborn.
-Using old school cloth diapers as burp cloths is very cost effective. You will need LOTS!
-I love Green Sprouts toys and tethers.
-When buying/registering for crib sheets, make sure the elastic goes all the way around and is not just in the corners. I like SheetWorld crib sheets, and they come in lots of colors.
-If your baby is choking/gulping/spitting up when drinking from bottles even with a slow flow nipple, try using a Preemie nipple. These Dr. Brown's ones work in both Dr. Brown's and Medela bottles.
-Lansinoh breastmilk storage bags are the best. They don't leak and hold a good amount of milk. Speaking of lansinoh, don't bother getting/registering for nipple creams. You can take some home from the hospital, and a little goes a long way. Plus, if you are having serious nipple issues, APNO (Rx only) cream takes the cake.
-Don't get disposable nursing pads. They are a waste of money, they leak and they show through your clothes. Cloth nursing pads are great, but most of them show through your clothes as well, and they can leak too. I've found the best ones to be bamboobies, which don't leak, and they are heart shaped which don't show under clothes. I can't even express enough how much I love these things. Worth the $$!!
-These are the best nursing tanks, hands down. They are supportive, easy to use, and comfortable. Worth the $$. The ones I've gotten from Target, etc just don't compare. I wish I had bought like 5 of these in different colors instead of ANY nursing bras. It is a lot more discreet when nursing in public, since it covers your middle.
-When it comes to getting a first aid/safety/grooming kit, make sure it has: nail clippers and a nasal aspirator. They usually include thermometers, but I learned the hard way that the ones that generally come in the kits take FOREVER to take a temp reading. You do NOT want it taking more than a few seconds when you have a stick up your baby's bum. You will probably have to register for/buy a separate thermometer-any kind is good as long as it clearly states that it takes quick readings!
-These swaddlers with velcro or something similar are awesome, and so easy to use. Much easier than swaddling with a blanket.
-Even if you don't think you will want a video monitor now, you most likely will after the baby is born. And if you're not sure, register for/buy one and just keep it in the box until you either decide to use it or return it. This is the one I have, and I like it because it tells you the temperature in the room, and it has a button that you can use to talk to the child when they get older (read: "get back in bed!!" or "I'm coming, hold on a second!")
-I love Mustela products, especially the lotion. Its great for baby skin conditions.
-Tovolo carries good, cheap silicone ice cube trays that are great to use for freezing baby food. Each square is about one ounce, and they are square so you can pop them out and freeze them in a bag and they can stand up or lay down nicely.
-I really like my Ergo baby carrier. It supports the baby by their bum instead of their crotch like the Bjorn does, which is better for their hips and just seems like it is more comfortable. Plus, you can wear it on your back (or daddy can!) which is a nice option. The Moby wrap is great too, especially when they are a newborn since it cradles them and keeps them close to you.
That's all I can think of off the top of my head of things I've learned that I would have never known before having a baby/doing research on products. I will keep adding to the list as I think of things/experience things and maybe one day will organize the points by product type so they aren't so scattered :). Hope this is helpful!
3.10.2012
Five Months Old!
It is hard to believe, but each month with Carter just gets better and better. He is such a good baby-we are so lucky!! He nurses well, and usually only takes 20 minutes or less total. He is still sleeping sporadically-waking up between 1 and 4 times per night. I never feed him before 5am, and before that if he wakes up crying he is easily soothed with a pacifier and "shushing". Jay has been really helpful during the middle of the night wakenings which I am really thankful for!
He still flips to his belly in the left direction all the time, and he has gotten pretty fast at it. He still has no interest in rolling to the right or rolling back to his back from his belly. He has learned to sleep on his belly and seems to enjoy it, which makes me nervous but there is no stopping him. No matter how many times I flip him over to his back during the night, he flips right back to his belly. I called the pediatrician's office and they told me that as long as he is strong enough to hold his head up and we don't have any other SIDS risks in the house (smoking, soft mattress, stuffed animals/blankets in crib) then it is okay to let him sleep on his belly. They said as a general rule, if they are strong enough to flip to their belly, they are strong enough to flip back or turn their head if they can't breathe.
Since we've been working on Carter's torticollis, it has gotten so much better that by the time we went to his 4 month checkup, it was almost gone and the NP couldn't even tell he had it. He is still growing as much as ever and is now wearing 9-12 month clothing!
The best new things Carter has learned to do are laughing and squealing. Before, his laugh was more of a grunt, but now he actually chuckles and giggles, which absolutely melts our hearts. He doesn't do it often, but we can usually get him to laugh by tickling under his chin or his chest or by bouncing whatever soft surface he is laying on like an earthquake. His squealing is hilarious-it is like he all of a sudden found his voice and now wants to use it all the time. He is a busy little boy, constantly kicking his legs no matter what position he's in. We got him a jumparoo so he could get out his energy plus strengthen his legs and keep him in an upright position, and he loves it! We have some great videos of him enjoying himself in the jumparoo.
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