If you're a parent, you know what I'm talking about. For some reason, "seasoned" parents like to crush the very being of new parents via facebook. It is like a sick, one-upping game that makes them look like a superior parent. It is something I noticed long before I had a child of my own through my friends and led me to be careful NEVER to complain about my pregnancy or my baby on Facebook because I knew all hell would break loose with the "just wait" moms and I couldn't handle it without flipping out.
Still don't really know what I'm talking about? Here's a hypothetical scenario:
New mom's Facebook status: I am so tired, baby was up all night crying!
Comments:
Mom #1: Just wait until you have 5 days in a row of that. Then you'll be tired!
Mom #2: Just wait until he's teething, then he'll cry all night for a month straight!
Mom #3: Just wait until you have two and they tag team you!
Mom #4: Just wait until they're 13 and you're up all night waiting for them to come home!
The pregnancy statuses always get it the worst. Hypothetical scenario:
Pregnant woman's Facebook status: So uncomfortable. I can't believe I have another trimester of this!
Comments:
Mom #1: Wow, and you haven't even hit you're third trimester yet. You're in trouble!
Mom #2: Just wait until you can't see your feet anymore and you're 2 weeks overdue like I was!
Mom #3: You think its bad now, just wait until the baby actually gets here!
And then there's always the commenters with unsolicited advice, but that is another post for another time......
Seriously, people?? If you are a parent, you know that it is one of the most challenging, exhausting, rewarding, exciting crazy rides of all time. You know that when you are pregnant, you sometimes feel like crap and like the baby will never come out. You know that when you have a baby, you experience things you never thought you would and sometimes you feel like just sitting and crying because you feel so incompetent. You know that when have a toddler, sometimes you feel like throwing them against the wall (but that would be bad, so you don't.)
And BECAUSE you know all these things, you think that the responses of "seasoned" moms to other moms would be understanding, uplifting and encouraging. How about "Things happen, you're doing great!" or "I remember that, it sucks!" But sadly, I see a lot less of this and a lot more "just waits". Why can't we let pregnant moms and new moms experience things open-mindedly like we did? Why can't we let them have complaints without telling them it is just going to get worse? Why can't we encourage instead of tear down?
Want a real scenario and not a hypothetical? Here's the post that inspired me to write this blog. I'll of course leave names out but if you're Facebook friends with this person as well, it won't be much of a mystery. While there were actually quite a lot of comments, I just included the worst of the worst ones. Why are there more than one worst of the worst???
New mom's Facebook status: "For the first time in my life, I watched poop explode out of another human being's rear end. My changing table will never be the same..."
Comments:
#1: "Wait until she explodes poop in your lap! :-)"
#2: "get used to it"
#3: "I am worried about you and this poop thing... Wait until she starts eating real food!"
#4: "Sweetie what did you think was going to happen on the changing table? Just wait until she figures out how to take off the daiper...Good times. Here comes the real tip...wiping a new born's bum gets them going. Put a new diaper under her to help with explosion containment. Buy lost of satin remover and the best way to get it out is to work inside out that way you are not scrumbing the stain in but out."
The last one is the ultimate "just wait" mom trifecta. It includes #1: Talking down to the new mom ("sweetie...what did you think would happen?), a "just wait" comment (of course), and then top it off with unsolicited advice. GAH!!!
Parents, lets be kind to other parents. Lets let them enjoy all of the good and not so good experiences that come with it. Lets let them complain, because they have a right to do so. Lets tell them they are doing a good job, because THAT is what a new mom needs to hear most of all.
Off soapbox.
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