Am I strict?

I'm going back and forth lately regarding being a strict parent/scheduling. Some mothers swear by it (babywise types), some mothers swear against it (attachment parenting types). I can't say I 100% fall into either camp, and I think that is OK with me. I find that I'm strict about some things and not strict about other things, and so far that has worked for me. For example:


1. I'm very strict about going no less than 2 hours and no more than 3 1/2 hours between feedings during the day. If it has been less than 2 hours and Carter is fussy, I give him a pacifier or put him down for a nap and he will usually settle down fairly quickly. I am sure I'd be crucified by strict AP's for doing this (including one of my former preceptors), however-I think that because of this, Carter has seemed to learn that the boob is strictly for eating, not comfort. When he's done eating, he stops and actually prefers to have a pacifier. That might not be okay for some, but it is quite freeing for me! If it has been 3 hours since he last ate and he is awake, I feed him whether he seems upset/hungry or not. He has never once turned me down! :) If he is sleeping at 3 hours, I will let him go to 3 1/2 and either feed him whenever he wakes up or-YES-I will wake him up. (gasp! I thought you were never supposed to wake a sleeping baby!) I've found that he sleeps better at night when he doesn't go long stretches during the day without eating, and THAT is worth it to me!!

2. At night, I'm also somewhat strict about feeding. He does sleep through the night-most of the time. And by that I mean to bed at 7 or 8pm, waking once around 5-6am to eat and then going back to sleep until 7 or 8am.  Sometimes he will wake up and cry during the night, and Jay or I will give him a pacifier and shush him, and he usually goes right back to sleep. If he does not, we will see if he'll calm down in 2 minutes or so, and if he doesn't I will feed him. I really try not to feed him before 5am but it has happened sometimes (probably growth spurts). I just can't get myself to let him cry it out at this point-especially because he sleeps through the night without waking more than not. One day dropping that 5-6am feeding will be pretty awesome! Jay and I have a system for it though-he goes in to get Carter while I get ready (lay on my side, put a waterproof pad underneath where he will lie, get a burp rag ready and closeby, and lift my shirt, basically..haha). He brings him to me and I will feed him on one side (usually takes 5-10 mins). Then Jay will burp him while I get ready to switch sides, and bring him to my other side when he's done. After Carter's done with the other side, I burp him and put him back to bed. It works very well for us!

3. I am not super strict about nap times. (This is where the babywise parents shake their heads at me). Since he's been born, Carter has been a great napper. Basically, when he's tired, he just goes to sleep, wherever he is and whenever it is. He could be in my arms, in his crib, on his playmat, in the bouncer, in the swing, wherever. Now, at 5 1/2 months, he has gone from probably 7 or 8 30 minute naps a day to 3- 4 naps a day. I haven't tried to schedule it, it just usually happens. So why mess with a good thing? I try to make sure he takes a morning nap (somewhere around 9-11am), an early afternoon nap (somewhere around 11am-1pm) and an afternoon nap (somewhere around 1-3pm). Depending on what time his afternoon nap was, he will usually take another one around 4-5:30pm. Then he goes to bed at 7 usually. I can tell when he's tired (he gets cranky and rubs his eyes), so whenever that happens, if he doesn't fall asleep where he is, I usually either put him in his swing (he sleeps reeeeally well in the swing!) or in his crib, and he generally falls asleep easily. These days, his naps are usually 45min-1hr long.

4. I am very strict about a bedtime routine. I think it has really helped Carter know that this is not a nap-this is bedtime-and he is to sleep for a LONG time. Haha. I feed him in my bed, change him into his PJs/nighttime diaper, read him a book, and sing to him. Then the white noise giraffe and his mobile go on, and he's usually out like a light. Awesome.

5. I am not (well, I'm trying not to be) strict about where he goes to bed. I don't want to be the type of family that HAS to be home at 7pm for their kid to go to bed (what kind of life is that??). I haven't had too many opportunities to have him go to bed somewhere else yet, but I'm hoping to do that at least a few times each month so that he will fall asleep anywhere and not have to be home.

6. I am strict about keeping up my milk supply. If Carter gets a bottle, I pump. It might not be at the same time that he gets the bottle, but I make sure that I pump once for each bottle he gets that day. Usually the pumping session happens at night, when he is in bed, which works well. I think that doing this has maintained my milk supply as I have never had a supply issue-if anything, I had a massive oversupply in the beginning. I try not to pump as much as possible, however-which usually results in me bringing Carter everywhere I go and/or rushing home from errands so I can feed him, which is a little stressful at times. It is just so much easier to just nurse him than it is to pump! Not to mention, it is not super comfortable to skip feedings and I'm terrified of getting mastitis again!

Okay, so now that I've made the list it seems like I'm pretty strict about most things. Here I am, thinking that I am such a laid-back parent, and I guess it turns out I'm not at all. Oh well. Haha. I should have known. I suppose that naturally anxious parent + first time parent  = generally super strict parent. I will just have to try to fight this in some ways in the future when he is old enough to hate me for it...