Update on life

I realized I haven't really updated in a while...besides my short new year's post. Here goes...

I'm only 3 days into the quarter and I am already feeling overwhelmed. Grad school has challenged me in ways I've never been challenged before. As much as ENC was a great experience for me and I'd never want to go anywhere else, I realize that I've always been coddled a bit attending high school and college, which has hurt me as I'm trying to get used to being an independent student at a large University. The studying and learning is not the biggest difficulty, as I expected-it is learning confidence and clinical skills that has been the most challenging of all. I constantly crave someone to hold my hand and guide me until I am comfortable doing things on my own, but that's just not the way it is. We are expected to take initiative and have confidence, even when practicing a skill that could kill someone for the first time on a live human. Its pretty scary to me....and I really hope I can have the strength and courage to get through! It is a daily prayer of mine...

Speaking of school, what's even more exciting is that JAY is starting grad school on Monday! It happened a little suddenly, but he is finally beginning an MDiv program at Northwest Nazarene. It is all online-so no matter where life takes us he will be able to complete the program. I am so glad he is finally doing it-I'm not sure what happened for him to finally take the leap but I'm glad he did. I hate seeing him miserable in a job, even if he doesn't admit he's miserable. :) He is such a talented youth pastor already, and I can't wait to see how school gives him the skills and confidence to strengthen the gifts he already has. He amazes me every day...I would give anything to have just a little bit of his caring and positive attitude, generosity, and unwavering faith. I am so blessed to get to be married to him. :-D

As anticipated, the season of babies has officially begun. It hit almost instantly after major wedding season started to taper off, which although expected, was still really exciting and crazy! I am SO incredibly excited for all my friends and family members who are getting ready to have little ones....but at the same time, its so weird to be at this place in life. And yes, when baby fever surrounds me it is difficult not to have a twinge of it myself, but I know that we're not ready yet. Not for a while. I will just live vicariously through my friends for now! I am just enjoying the ride! :)

Updates from my last major blog....they do have a suspect in custody who they believe is the serial rapist. Although I will not celebrate until the DNA matches. And as for the anxiety issues that seem to pop up in almost every blog...I am getting help with that, which is something I've needed for a while. Darn genetics. (Just let me blame the genes, okay?? Its a coping mechanism. :))

Its probably good that because of school I don't have too much time to think about the future. It is kind of scary having NO idea where we'll be in 2 years, when I will have to do my clinicals out of Columbus. I've been half-looking....searching for connections in places we would be willing to live, but nothing solid has really turned up yet. And thats okay. It has been a healthy struggle to learn to be patient and NOT have a plan for once. I need to live day by day, or else I'm not going to make it to the end of my program. Or even to the next quarter. Haha!

I guess thats enough procrastination for one day....all you faithful readers out there (one, maybe two? lol), thanks for reading!